Monday, September 21, 2009

Sometimes I Worry

I wasn't much of a worrier in years gone by. I always had a pretty positive outlook on life and expected good things to happen. Unfortunately, while plenty of good things have happened and continue to do so, there's a lot of bad that's occurred in my life as well. Now, I am not so positive in my outlook ... sometimes I worry.

I worry what will happen to Skip if something happens to me. Of course, there's the big "something," that is, I die unexpectedly. I don't really worry about that much. After all, I've got life insurance to cover her financially. And, honestly, I won't be around to have to deal with the aftermath.

I worry more about smaller somethings. Primarily, if I get sick and end up incapacitated for a short while. Or if I lose my job. Essentially, I worry about situations where my ability to play the roles of primary caregiver and provider are impacted.

In these contexts, I worry most about an illness that sends me to the hospital that leaves Skip high and dry temporarily. I worry how Skip will handle this. Her resiliency has been affected over the years, and she has a hard time handling change. She's also intensely private. How will she be if I'm unable to care for her for a while and we need to get in others to take care of all the tasks of daily living? I know she'll deal with it because she'll have to, but it will be very hard for her.

I worry because we don't have an automatic "Plan B" to put into place if something does happen to me. Skip will be freaked out because of whatever's happened to me and won't be in a good position to figure out how to take care of herself. I know she won't want to talk about it, but she and I should put together a list of resources that can be called upon in a pinch ... friends, family, caregivers, church pastoral care. Then, there'll be a plan to set in motion if I'm down for the count for a bit.

I think we'll start that conversation tonight ... with Plan B documented, I'll worry less.


Herrad said...

Hi Cranky,
Good idea to have a Plan B.
Have a good afternoo/evening.

steve said...

Sounds like you worry in appropriate doses. I love making plans. My brain is just wired to look for potential problems and scope out possible solutions. Thanks for the reminder to write down the important ones.

zoomdoggies said...

This is a huge deal for us too, Cranky. If something happens to Scarecrow, I'm stuck. We know we need a Plan B, but the options we would have to implement are so icky, expensive, and complicated to set up that we never get around to doing it. Set us a good example, will you?

Cranky said...

Herrad - thanks for your note. Having a lovely evening here.

Steve - some people just can't face a problem to try and figure out a solution, so you're fortunate to be so wired.

Zoom - working on that Plan B now, so hope our approach can help others. Our Plan B is focused on what we'd do if I was briefly out of commission.

Taxingwoman said...

Hi! Cranky
I worry about everything even though I know it is pointless.
A plan B were you gradually integrate others into your life to help out, will make it easier if something does go wrong.

Diane J Standiford said...

I ALWAYS have a plan B, C, and D!! Talking about bad possibilities is very hard for some people, but they MUST do it. I have seen horrible consequences from NOT being prepared because one partner refused to think about bad things. I wonder if they fear it will be a jinx? Just the opposite is true.

Cranky said...

Carole - I can't agree more, bringing some of these supports into our daily lives now will make it easier for Skip to handle when something does someday go wrong.

Diane - you sound like a very organized woman who lives by the words "expect the unexpected and the unexpected never happens!"

I think you're right about the feelings of some that they'll jinx themselves if they plan how to deal with the worst.

awb said...

I'm with Skip, I'm very private too. The blog doesn't count, and I also don't plan things. My lack of planning is my way of saying there is nothing wrong, but I know that's not a fair strategy. Good luck with your plan B.


Cranky said...

Andy - welcome back! Yes, we worked on Plan B. Made a good start. Now have to get it documented.