"Just us Chickens" .... that's what Skip and I call a day when no one is coming to the house. No aids, no nurses, no other people invading our space. Honestly, the people who do come are helping both of us immensely. Everything they do for me or Skip is something I don't have to do. And, Skip gets a change of company, someone to visit and chat with other than me while having her wants and needs met.
I wouldn't want to go more than one day in a row without assistance, but for that one, it's a real pleasure. Nine out of 10 Mondays are "just us chickens" days. Almost always, it's a peaceful and loving day, where we're both in excellent moods and spend our time together quite companionably. For some reason, even with the extra work, I rarely get angry on Mondays.
Skip is in the process of gaining approval for a state-funded Personal Care Attendant (PCA) program. This will give her a certain number of hours each week to allocate to her care and we get to hire and schedule the folks who do the work. We're still planning on leaving Mondays just as they are -- with just the two of us together at home.
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It's hard to find a balance between sharing your space and getting the help you need. We haven't managed it yet, but we need to. Set us a good example, OK? :)
We'll certainly try because a good example means we've got good routines established here. You'll read more about the program once Skip's approved and we start up.
I have a friend who is in such a program; She has "Earlene" come to her home four days a week for four hours a day. They have become good friends, and Earlene joins our lunch group each month. She does my friend's laundry, makes lunch for her, vacuums her room, takes her on errands and helps her with some personal care, etc. She was a Godsend. My friend hired her through Catholic Community Services.
Webster - I am really looking forward to all their help. Maybe I'll be less cranky when less responsibility rests on me.
However, right now we have less help and find ourselves needing space once in a while. As Zoomer noted, it's a balancing act.
Oh, how I loved the "Just Us Chicken" days. But like y'all said -- balance.
The place looks fantastic. I'm in a new place in San Jose now, and I'm still surrounded by boxes.
Oh, and make your bed.
-steve
Steve - nice to hear from you. I thought about you when I wrote this post, you were the one who gave me the term "invaders."
Thanks for the comment on our new place. We love it. We had towers of boxes for a while, it was pretty disorienting.
I also think of you quite often when I make my bed, which I do make every morning. It was unmade on pic day because the sheets were in the wash. :-)
I hope all goes well for you in your new job/home/life in San Jose. You deserve only the best.
A woman was sent to clean my apartment by somebody very nice, but I've forgotten who....
AGH - whom ‽ ‽ ‽ I used to know these things....
My insurance or maybe the MS Society, but anyway it didn't work out.
I needed help with BIG cleaning, pulling out furniture, stove, fridge, bookcases, etc,
to clean behind them like I was raised to do at least twice a year. Plus for ANY visitors.
So I ran myself ragged for a few days cleaning all the little bits I hadn't really kept up with
since the hospital, y'know, dust, sweep, vacuum, & mop (I use my rolly chair
when I get tired), because she would not just be a visitor, but
A STRANGER IN MY HOME SEEING ALL MY HUMILIATING SECRET DUST!!!
Turns out those were the most taxing things she ever did, but she was willing to give me a bath.
ACK, she meant nekkid!!!
Well, I imagine that day will come, but till then I will let the dust devils have their lairs.
PS, YOUR HOME IS GREAT, and why do people make the bed anyway?
Just bed sheets on a bed, right?
oops! Sorry I didn't respond to your comment before. Too funny that you cleaned before the cleaner came. Reminds me of my mother telling me to clean my room the day before the cleaning lady came. Thanks for your kudos on our condo. We think it's great, too!
Well every day is just us chickens at my house. Thankful right now my husband does not need assistance with personal care and can still get around. Also thankful that when he needs care we already know where to go and how to get it through the VA. And we will have 2 choices - either get a home health aide or the VA would pay me to be his aid. I always figured I'd take the latter when the time came but now I'm not so sure. I think I will welcome the invasion of the home health aid when the time comes and take my chances to run for freedom for a few hours a week.
This MS thing is a hard life.
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