Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hitched 5 Years Ago Today

Today is our 5th wedding anniversary. As I wrote in this post, Skip and I had a civil union ceremony in Vermont in 2001 which proved to be a wonderful time for us, with lots of love and support from family and friends. When we were finally able to marry in Massachusetts, we opted for something small and simple.

We had a few of my family here for the afternoon. My parents, both siblings (brother and sister) and my brother's son. It was nice that the son could attend since he was on a school trip to Europe when we had our civil union, so wasn't in Vermont with us. Also with us for the occasion was a photographer who had taken pictures of us in two prior sittings over the last 15 years. She had been trying to publish a book of photos of gay couples and we had agreed to be subjects way back in the early 90s. She'd come again about 10 years later to do follow-up shots. She hadn't managed to find a publisher and was now looking into switching the book's focus to same-sex marriages. She came and took lots of photos of the event ... it was like having a professional photographer for free! (Still no book, though.)

Our minister took the vows she wrote with us for the civil union and amended them slightly for the situation. We sat in a little cluster of 3 chairs in the living room, our small group of guests around us. My parents cried! I love how supportive they are of me. Actually, I think everyone cried. When we finished the ceremony, our minister signed the marriage license and it was done. This was the first marriage license she'd signed in over a year as she stopped signing them for heterosexual couples until gay couples could legally marry. We felt quite honored that she ended her boycott with us. (She still performed weddings but the couples had to have another party sign the marriage license.)

We had a bit of cake and enjoyed the company of our small group. Opened a bottle of champagne as well. Our relationship the day before was just as committed and binding in our hearts and minds as it was following our marriage on May 20th. But, we were happy and excited that our state had chosen to give our relationship full legal recognition.

Oh, and I was able to add Skip to my dental plan at work, too. My employer did not offer domestic partner coverage, but with the change in the law here in Massachusetts, they opened up medical and dental coverage for same sex spouses.


Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary...all of the anniversaries! Cranky, you bring tears to my eyes. As an old friend of yours and Skip's, I've watched you two on the "slippery slope," and been impressed by Skip's good humor and the fact that you are a good provider of care. It is deeply touching to read your accounts/thoughts, the frustrations, joys, coping mechanisms. You and Skip are a remarkable couple. --DW

Herrad said...

Hi Cranky, Hi Skip,

Happy anniversary.


awb said...

Now I can say anniversary, Good news with the insurance too, what a dumb rule. I hope you both enjoyed your day.


Cranky said...

DW - Wow! Thanks for your note! I hope you've noted you and ND are in some of the stories here. It's so true what you say about Skip's good humor. I don't know how she does it, between the MS and living with a cranky thing like me.

Herrad - thanks! It's been a great day today.

Andy - thanks to you, too. Yes, good on the dental. Skip manages to use every dollar of benefit available on her dental coverage every year. :-)

Patrick @ Caregivingly Yours said...

Happy Anniversary!!

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick

steve said...

I'll toast to that!

I'm sitting here thinking how cruel all those fairy tales of happily ever after are for gay children. The noble struggles for love and companionship ingrained into our psyche, and always culminating with a wedding surrounded by everybody in the entire kingdom.

So here's to you, and Skip, and all the gay children in Massachusetts.

Cranky said...

Thanks, Patrick and Steve!

Joyce said...

Happy Anniversary to you both! I live in Maine and as you know, our Governor just signed a law allowing same sex will now be facing opposition that may lead to a referendum this Fall,but it was a grand day to be a Mainer this month!
So happy to have discovered you; you seem such a devoted couple. MS for 20 years here.....Joyce

Cranky said...

Joyce - thanks for your note! Yes, I bet it feels great to be from Maine of late. I like knowing there are more states we can visit where our status will remain intact. While it has no direct bearing on our day-to-day existence, it bothers me when I travel to a state that doesn't recognize our married status. Which is, of course, pretty much every state.