Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Bad Start, Good Finish

Earlier today, when I thought about this post, it was going to be entitled "Selfishness, Jealousy and Self-Pity," which pretty much describes the three main feelings I had this morning.

I selfishly spent more time than I should have relaxing, talking and drinking coffee with some of our fellow vacationers out on the deck rather than get Skip up and into the shower. As a result, she had been waiting quite a bit longer than I said I'd be, and she was pretty cranky herself when I went into the bedroom to get her up. I responded crankily and we had a bit of a spat as I was getting her up and into the shower.

After her shower, when I went out into the kitchen to get Skip coffee, I saw the rest of the vacationing group sitting out on the deck with coffee, enjoying the morning and each other. I was so jealous! How would that feel, to just be a "normal" couple, so we could have been on that deck with our friends? It's been 100 years since that was the case, and I don't often indulge in thoughts that do no good, just make me feel bad. Thoughts like "why couldn't that be us?" But I saw them on the deck and the jealousy hit like a spasm.

So, I brought Skip her coffee and descended into self-pity. She asked me what our friends were doing and I bitterly said "living."

Through the early afternoon, the bad feelings from the morning lingered, causing me to look darkly at the day. By mid-afternoon, a walk with the pups to let them explore, some relaxation out on the deck with our friends, followed by a late afternoon swim all helped to lift my spirits.

After dinner, the group of us played Wii Sports and it was really fun. A great group game because it's fun to observe even if you're not playing. It will be a fun activity for us on those inevitable rainy days during a two-week vacation.

Tomorrow the weather forecast is for a lovely summer's day. I'm looking forward to getting the morning off on the right foot by bringing the right balance of self-indulgent relaxation for myself and timely caregiving for Skip. Then, we'll enjoy the sunny weather out on the dock. I suspect it'll probably be the right day to go scout out the boat landing for Skip's swimming adventure.

5 comments:

Herrad said...

Hi Cranky,
Sounds like a good plan.
Hope you find a way for Skip to get into the water.
Have a good day.
Love,
Herrad

awb said...

It is fun to watch the different ways people play Wii sports. Some are very casual, but others attack it with all the gusto of a hound dog! Good luck with the boat landing.

Andy

Mountain Mamma said...

Hi Cranky! We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel those feelings you know. I often feel jealousy when I see happy fun groups of people, but you're right, those thoughts do no good at all....so why is it so hard to stop them? I hope you have a great day today!
Rain

Cranky said...

The weather's been pretty crappy here the last few days so haven't yet checked out the boat landing for Skip's swim.

I must confess that yesterday started out with the best of intentions, but it didn't end that way. Ah, well. Today has been better overall.

Diane J Standiford said...

If we (being each other;s caregiver in one way or another for 30 long years) had a dime for every time we have felt that,"If only..." but not in the cards for us. We did have 6 months in Ann Arbor...more than some have in a liftime, so we don't dwell. Never seems fair though, does it?