Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Bad Start, Good Finish

Earlier today, when I thought about this post, it was going to be entitled "Selfishness, Jealousy and Self-Pity," which pretty much describes the three main feelings I had this morning.

I selfishly spent more time than I should have relaxing, talking and drinking coffee with some of our fellow vacationers out on the deck rather than get Skip up and into the shower. As a result, she had been waiting quite a bit longer than I said I'd be, and she was pretty cranky herself when I went into the bedroom to get her up. I responded crankily and we had a bit of a spat as I was getting her up and into the shower.

After her shower, when I went out into the kitchen to get Skip coffee, I saw the rest of the vacationing group sitting out on the deck with coffee, enjoying the morning and each other. I was so jealous! How would that feel, to just be a "normal" couple, so we could have been on that deck with our friends? It's been 100 years since that was the case, and I don't often indulge in thoughts that do no good, just make me feel bad. Thoughts like "why couldn't that be us?" But I saw them on the deck and the jealousy hit like a spasm.

So, I brought Skip her coffee and descended into self-pity. She asked me what our friends were doing and I bitterly said "living."

Through the early afternoon, the bad feelings from the morning lingered, causing me to look darkly at the day. By mid-afternoon, a walk with the pups to let them explore, some relaxation out on the deck with our friends, followed by a late afternoon swim all helped to lift my spirits.

After dinner, the group of us played Wii Sports and it was really fun. A great group game because it's fun to observe even if you're not playing. It will be a fun activity for us on those inevitable rainy days during a two-week vacation.

Tomorrow the weather forecast is for a lovely summer's day. I'm looking forward to getting the morning off on the right foot by bringing the right balance of self-indulgent relaxation for myself and timely caregiving for Skip. Then, we'll enjoy the sunny weather out on the dock. I suspect it'll probably be the right day to go scout out the boat landing for Skip's swimming adventure.


Herrad said...

Hi Cranky,
Sounds like a good plan.
Hope you find a way for Skip to get into the water.
Have a good day.

awb said...

It is fun to watch the different ways people play Wii sports. Some are very casual, but others attack it with all the gusto of a hound dog! Good luck with the boat landing.


Anonymous said...

Hi Cranky! We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel those feelings you know. I often feel jealousy when I see happy fun groups of people, but you're right, those thoughts do no good at why is it so hard to stop them? I hope you have a great day today!

Cranky said...

The weather's been pretty crappy here the last few days so haven't yet checked out the boat landing for Skip's swim.

I must confess that yesterday started out with the best of intentions, but it didn't end that way. Ah, well. Today has been better overall.

Diane J Standiford said...

If we (being each other;s caregiver in one way or another for 30 long years) had a dime for every time we have felt that,"If only..." but not in the cards for us. We did have 6 months in Ann Arbor...more than some have in a liftime, so we don't dwell. Never seems fair though, does it?