Cranky Reason #: Denying reality. I like to say I'm "reality-based," but, in reality, that's more of a goal than fact. Because if I was truly reality-based, I wouldn't get so cranky when something happens to Skip that I wish had never occurred. The other day, Skip went through a series of being unable to right herself when bending over. So, about 6 times over the course of an hour while I was working, she called out for me to come and sit her up. I just felt so crabby about this ... if she just stopped bending over, this wouldn't be happening! Back in the days when she was semi-mobile, she fell with regularity, sometimes in situations that, in my opinion, were totally avoidable. Then I'd get cranky. I have a few particularly unpretty memories of yelling at Skip while she was lying on the floor, post-fall. I had to make sure and express my crankiness before helping her up.
De-cranky strategy: Honestly, I think this is a case of me trying to impose my able-bodied reality on Skip's situation. Things are different for her than me. So, maybe if I try to be a bit empathetic (not a strong suit for me), I can remember that how we got here is less important than just fixing the problem. Trying to think through different strategies to avoid the problem are best done in a less charged atmosphere after everything is set to right and I'm not approaching the issue with such aggravation.
Confessions of a Stressed-Out Caregiver
5 days ago