I just posted a "cranky reason" post, a very embarassing one for me to own up to. I feel that it was possible to do because I've been in a good frame of mind of late. And, I think some of my earlier postings of cranky reasons have actually helped me.
One particularly challenging time of day, when I'm prone to be crabby, is at bedtime. Yesterday, I got up at 4:30am because I had a presentation to write and send out for review before the start of the business day. So, by evening I was whipped. I knew I'd be falling asleep on the couch, which I did before 9pm. Skip woke me around 11 so we could go to bed.
Back in the day, when Skip was more able, I'd have gone to bed at 9 and she'd have come in when she was ready. Even in the early days of wheelchair use, she could have transferred herself on to the bed and would have needed little assistance (if any) to get undressed and settled in. She even took the dog out before bed.
Now, when we go to bed, virtually all tasks fall to me, so I'm putting both of us to bed. This at a time when all I want to do is crawl under the covers and get warm (I'm always cold in the house ... Skip's temp comfort zone is lower than my comfort zone, so blankets and throws are needed year round to keep the chill away.). It's easy for me to get crabby, even without the slightest snag or issue.
Last night, when I woke up, I mentally noted to myself that I could get through this next 15 minutes or so without crankiness. I'd get us both settled and would be asleep again soon. Sure, enough, I maintained my reasonably good spirits and we got settled in with no crabbiness. I think it was the conscious thought ... you can do this without crankiness ... that helped make it manageable. Isn't that how new habits are built? You consciously think about the change you want to make in order to avoid the bad habit. Over time, the new pathway is burned in and you can move forward without the need for conscious thought.
I'm optimistic good changes are happening.