Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Things Are Going Well

I just posted a "cranky reason" post, a very embarassing one for me to own up to. I feel that it was possible to do because I've been in a good frame of mind of late. And, I think some of my earlier postings of cranky reasons have actually helped me.

One particularly challenging time of day, when I'm prone to be crabby, is at bedtime. Yesterday, I got up at 4:30am because I had a presentation to write and send out for review before the start of the business day. So, by evening I was whipped. I knew I'd be falling asleep on the couch, which I did before 9pm. Skip woke me around 11 so we could go to bed.

Back in the day, when Skip was more able, I'd have gone to bed at 9 and she'd have come in when she was ready. Even in the early days of wheelchair use, she could have transferred herself on to the bed and would have needed little assistance (if any) to get undressed and settled in. She even took the dog out before bed.

Now, when we go to bed, virtually all tasks fall to me, so I'm putting both of us to bed. This at a time when all I want to do is crawl under the covers and get warm (I'm always cold in the house ... Skip's temp comfort zone is lower than my comfort zone, so blankets and throws are needed year round to keep the chill away.). It's easy for me to get crabby, even without the slightest snag or issue.

Last night, when I woke up, I mentally noted to myself that I could get through this next 15 minutes or so without crankiness. I'd get us both settled and would be asleep again soon. Sure, enough, I maintained my reasonably good spirits and we got settled in with no crabbiness. I think it was the conscious thought ... you can do this without crankiness ... that helped make it manageable. Isn't that how new habits are built? You consciously think about the change you want to make in order to avoid the bad habit. Over time, the new pathway is burned in and you can move forward without the need for conscious thought.

I'm optimistic good changes are happening.


Tricia said...

I have been very cranky lately too. I have been taking it out on my husband and that's not really fair. I'm cranky because everything falls on me - EVERYTHING! I know he can't do much more (he could do some more but not much) but I guess my main complaint is I don't feel that what I do is appreciated. Last night I had a big ole pity party - I sobbed for a good hour about feeling unappreciated, unloved, un-respected, unnoticed. I know this isn't really the case but some days it just overwhelms me.

Today I'm back to fighting the good fight. On 6 hours of sleep it's hard but I'm managing. Tonight I have to get more sleep or tomorrow I will be crankier than ever!

Cranky said...

Tricia - I came upon your blog yesterday and found it to be a good read. I think I've added it to my blogroll.

Thanks for your note, though sorry for the current situation you're in. Glad to hear that you're back in fighting trim today. I, too, can feel unappreciated and that makes me cranky as well. I might do a "cranky reason" post for that. Take care of yourself!

Andy said...

You sound like my wife! She has to put up with a ceiling fan, a box fan on a stand next to the bed, and the window open in the bedroom, and that's in the winter! I do lay on her side to warm it before she gets in, doesn't that count for something?


Cranky said...

Andy - too funny! That's nice of you to help warm up the sheets. I am sitting here with a vision of your wintertime bedroom and laughing! I think Skip would like all that coolness too ... we just have one fan.

David said...

Dear Cranky,

This was my first time on a Cranky Blog; OK, on any blog at all. I love how you manage to give words to your Cranks and express so much love at the same time.


Ferrous Patella said...

Have youse guys considered one of those two-speed electric blankets? Those things have saved more relationships than all the marriage counselors in NYC. We find ours works better than throws since it stays in place better, yet we each can pick own temperature. One concern is with circulation and sensation issues, the heat elements can do damage to skin. As long as you do not turn it up to deep fat fry, you should be okay.