Warning: drivel ahead!
I had a brief period of overwhelmingness today. I had a good sense of what the day would bring and then a curve ball got thrown. Skip's aide, MW, had talked yesterday about not coming today because she was trying to get packed for moving this weekend. As a result, I thought the day consisted just of work, with only my brother coming to do some home maintenance. No nurses, no MW, no physical therapist. All in all, that seemed pretty quiet.
Late morning, MW called and said she'd like to work 1-5. Skip was thrilled. That would get her outside on the patio (it was a lovely, warm day here), a visit and a cigar smoke. I was not thrilled, though. Skip and I had planned that she'd spend time lying on her side in the early afternoon to take some pressure off her wound. That was out. We'd planned on only have one visitor today, my brother. That was out.
Suddenly, this change in plans had me completely overwhelmed. Not for any good reason, but just because it was a change. But, I didn't crank out. Instead, I gave myself a time-out. For about 15 minutes, I sat in the living room and wasted time on my home computer. I completely separated myself from the day's pressures. It did the trick as I was able to climb back into the day's responsibilities and routines and get through it all without descending into a bad mood. In fact, I ended up appreciating MW's presence as she took care of a lot of household activities (such as empty diswasher, fold laundry) that would have been part of my routine instead.
I have to watch out for tomorrow, though. We're having 4 new appliances delivered and partially installed (gas appliances being installed by a plumber on Friday), MW, the house cleaners, my brother and a full day of meetings. Oy! I'll have to be on my guard for crankiness! (Actually, I've already come up with ways to settle myself into a "cone of silence" so I can work away from all the chaos. Wish me luck!
Stages of Loss: Acceptance
21 hours ago